Sunday Lunch / ££ / 7/10

On a quest for a better Sunday Lunch than we had earlier in the month at Cleaver and Wake I thought I should rely on a place I have nothing but fond memories of. Actually that is not 100% true, an ex once told me he didn’t know if we were compatible there but I won’t hold that against the venue (or the couples wedding we were at). His loss, is the Northerners incredible gain. Back to the roast dinner, I was thinking that being in the countryside would automatically mean a better roast dinner – I was half right.

Firstly Chequers is a beautiful establishment, the bar area has an open fire with a boars head above it, narrow passage ways lead off to smaller dining rooms and the whole place smells of delicious food. It was perfect for a drizzly Sunday in November. Our faces were cold from the tame walk around the village (with the inevitable ‘Would you ever like to live here?’ conversation) and we arrived 30 minutes before our reservation hoping to get lunch a bit earlier. We were advised the previous table hadn’t cleared so we could have a drink while we waited and they serve champagne by the glass. Oh go on then, it’s practically Christmas. We reviewed the menu and I lied to myself for a good minute that I might not have a roast dinner. With this charade out of the way I chose pork belly and the northerner went for the beef. Nicely buzzed from the wine I sat back and imagined a life I had earlier declined, living a rural existence with an amazing local like Chequers. Locals at the bar, fire warming the room, twinkly candles on the rustic tables.

The main courses arrived, beautifully cooked rare slices of beef, marbled with fat (flavour) and with the richest gravy. The northerner smiled. I looked down, my pork belly was a runners up prize in comparison and I couldn’t hide my annoyance that there was no apple sauce. I asked and they bought this along with horseradish and I had a moment of clarity. Roast dinners are all about the meat, the veg and the sauce/gravy for me. Yorkshire puddings, roast potatoes the stars of everyone else’s show aren’t as important. I am not stating this to show oh how unique I am (zzzzzzz) more to help you understand my disappointment when I tapped the fat of the pork belly with my knife (expecting a hard, hollow noise of delicious crackling in response) and got a dull firmness. This skin had at some point been brittle, and salted and delicious but it wasn’t anymore. Pork belly without a crunch is the equivalent of someone asking if you want biscuits with your tea and giving you a bloody Malted Milk. From that point it was a game of ‘hunt the stringy meat in gelatinous fat’. A sorry sight.

The vegetables were nicely cooked (although kale has no place in a roast dinner, it adds nothing), the yorkshire pudding was light and the gravy delicious but I couldn’t shift the disappointment.

Hoping to end on a high I ordered the Sticky Toffee Pudding. Again when it arrived I wondered what the hell was going on, there was a smudge (?) of something brown and grainy on the plate ‘What’s that?’ I asked without realising I was saying the words out loud. The Northerner clocked it ‘probably something date-y’ he suggested, the waitress said she’d find out but by that point I didn’t really care. The sticky toffee pudding was light and the sauce was rich, it was the best one I have had in a long time but the brown grainy stuff (like the kale) shouldn’t have made it to the plate. It added nothing taste wise and aesthetically…………. well.

The Chequers Inn was better (and £100 cheaper) than Cleaver and Wake but it fell short of the expectation set by visits in previous years. The hunt for an excellent sunday roast continues.