Lunch / ££

There is a wonderful line from The Bear season 2 “I just like being able to serve other people now. You know? I think that’s why restaurants and hospitals use the same word ‘hospitality‘” – if that is the case then christmas party season in restaurants is the hospital equivalent of A&E on a saturday night. On a dark afternoon in West Bridgford the Portello Lounge had a queue out the door as we approached, it was busy with families, football fans (Forest were playing at home) and early weekend drinkers. This isn’t the first time I have been to the Portello Lounge. I have 2 children so it is part of the package along with a lack of sleep, family dog and desperately hoping the fact your child will only eat beige food is a phase. The Portello Lounge serves families very well – they are endlessly accomodating and have the square footage so even with 7 prams our party didn’t completely ruin everyone else’s experience.

We pre ordered from the festive menu and arrived to a decorated table with crackers, flutes and christmas paraphernalia. It felt very christmassy. Portello Lounge have obviously figured out that serving a roast menu at the same time as their extensive daytime menu would only go one way. The choices centre around sharing boards for starters, burger and pie takes on christmas for main course and a few familiar puddings. It is a wise move, having worked in a kitchen and front of house at Christmas this selection doesn’t put too much strain on either.

We went for a pie and burger main course combo, the Christmas Clucker burger was nice and the northerner descriped the pie as ‘a roast dinner in pastry’ priase…. I think. Once again I looked on as he ate the pie regretting my decision to order the burger. He stole my chips, I stole his vegetables – we both avoided the coleslaw which had too much mayo and was claggy without any acidity to cut through it. The best looking dish was the Cheddar Pie (it was also the only one not to be javelined by a pig in blanket). The starters and puddings weren’t the best, slightly aneamic churros, cinnamon heavy sticky toffee pudding. I am being critical, the food was warm (rare for mass catering), tasty and came out from a really friendly team who obviously take pride in their service. We were never short of drinks, when they brought the food out they knew who had ordered which meal and referenced the names. A small touch, but jesus christ if you have ever stood next to a waitress constantly repeating the same ‘turkey with cranberry fricasse’ announcement expectantly as the whole table drunkenly ignores her you understand the instant relief I felt.

I’ll review (and add a score) for Portello Lounge another time, no restaurant should be solely judged on a festive party occasion in the same way no hospital should be judged on it’s A&E department on a Saturday night.